


Patriotic Pectorals

by sseunshine (icarusisfalling)



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Baby Peter, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Fluff, Im Glad I study German, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Multilinguality, SO MUCH FLUFF, Steve Rogers Centric, Team Fluff, Thor is a horndog, Thundershield - Freeform, skinny jeans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 17:31:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17248460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icarusisfalling/pseuds/sseunshine
Summary: So much fluff.Just read it, I promise you’ll like it ;)





	Patriotic Pectorals

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this and since all my avengers five flop, once more fic and I’m done with writing this damn fandom, maybe I’ll do teen wilf(Scott only) or kings man.
> 
> It’s so hard to please people in this fandom..
> 
> Anyways enjoy ~

**1 ~ He’s not allowed to wear skinny jeans**

 

It may sound crazy to ban him from wearing clothes, but that ass and those thighs in skinny jeans is positively  _ scandalous _ .

 

And it seemed Thor agreed as well, since they could hear them talking in the kitchen as Steve cooked dinner.

 

He seasoned the ground beef with his gloved hands, nodding to whatever music he was playing in his head, and when he decided it was enough, he took his hands out and took off the gloves.

 

Grabbing the olive oil, he poured a few drops into the container before moving quickly on to the tomato sauce. 

 

“Thor, can you pass me the cilantro?” He knew Thor was trying to be secretive about his presence and smiled when he heard the thunder god grunt at being caught.

 

“Yes, my beloved” Thor opened the fridge and grabbed them from the shelf handing them to Steve before leaning against the counter. “Steven, why do you chose to make me hunger for you” 

 

Steve raised an eyebrow in question, going to ask but got cut off by Thor, “These skinny jeans you have chosen leave nothing to my mind” 

 

His lover growled sexily into Steve’s ear, grinding into Steve’s ass and smirked when Steve leant back into the touches. He then grabbed his waist and kissed his neck, much to the advantage of Thor. “Thor! I’m trying to cook here”

 

“Bu-“ 

 

“No buts, the only one in here is mine. Now shoo” Steve waved Thor from the kitchen, almost changing his mind when he saw Thor pout. He would tease the god later, though he would never admit to it.

  
  
  


**2 ~ He’s not allowed to speak any other language than English.**

 

They had known for a while that he was multilingual, though it had never  _ really  _ struck them. It’s not like he even spoke it around them, they just saw his files and invaded his privacy.

 

Tony felt that it was unfair that they had been captured  _ again _ by hydra agents. He watched them walk by outside the doors, looking back to a bleeding Steve on the table.

 

They strapped him down reinforced leather with adamantium so it was nearly impossible to break through it. Thor was on Asgard to deal with intergalactic issues, while Bruce was in India somewhere.

 

That only left Clint, Natasha, Him and Steve.

 

The strongest one of them all was currently not, resulting in the surrender of them all. If Steve went down, they all did with him.

 

Clint was drugged and Natasha had broken her arm, which looks like it hurts like hell but she still glared at any passing agents.

 

He banged on the steel bars of the jail cell and watched as some worker in a white coat walked in, said coat billowing behind her. She had a knife and alcohol in the other, and she walked to Steve with purpose.

 

She bent over to speak to him.  “Captain? Du bist jetzt kein Captain mehr.” 

 

He grunted at her and spat back at her. “Ich bin mehr ein Anführer, als du je sein könntest” and she slapped him and hissed angrily.

 

“Hört zu, ich bin jetzt für euch und eure Gruppe verantwortlich, ihr solltet euch Sorgen machen, da ich etwas für euch habe!” She said with an undeniable fire in her voice and she motioned over to them, grabbing a needle from her pocket.

 

Tony was still sitting in shock because he didn’t know Steve could speak German. If he was to be honest, he underestimated Steve a lot of the time, and now he felt like an asshole for doing so.

 

He didn’t understand anything they were saying, but Natasha translated and told him so he supposed it was semi-okay.

 

Never in his life had he wanted a shot of whiskey more.

 

~~~

 

Turns out, Phil had tracked them down and found them, taking out the base with Shield Agents. He knew immediately what to do when they were released from the med bay, walking over to Steve’s bedside and standing with his hands on his hips.

 

“What was that?” Tony said angrily, staring as Steve rolled over and attempted to sit up, only to give up after feeling the  _ dozen of stab wounds on his chest. _

 

“What was what, Tony…?” Steve questioned as if he didn’t know what he was talking about. Tony growled angrily, before calming himself down and sitting on the side of Steve’s bed.

 

“You, can speak multiple languages” It’s came out as more of a statement than a question, which bothered Tony. A lot.

 

Significantly quickly, Steve turned his head to Tony and smiled shyly and boy oh boy, if he wasn’t dating the god of thunder, Tony would snatch him right up. “I had to do it during the war, Jim spoke French and Dum Dum spoke Swedish. It helped in infiltration moments when they had to talk to townsfolk. That resulted in me picking up German as well” 

 

Steve left out the fact that he was Irish, and spoke Irish Gaelic as a surprise for later on.

 

**3 ~ He’s no longer allowed to speak with teenage girls.**

 

It seemed dumb, but it was necessary. In the span of what? 3 months, he had made friends with a few teenagers, more specifically America, Michelle and Shuri.

 

Grinning in glee, he watched as Shuri grabbed an empty soda can from his hands and pose with it out infront of her. 

 

Steve thought of a joke quickly, but stopped when he got to one.

 

“Wanna Cranberry Sprite?” And they clapped for him like proud parents at their kids graduation. They were teaching him of a few more memes this month, though he was acing it s far, he sometimes had a few memes that were complicated.

 

“That meme could’ve been ‘this bitch empty’ as well but I know you know it had a chance.” Shuri grinned at him with her white teeth.

 

He grabbed a pair of crocs they bought off of amazon, and Peter slipped them on while Michelle and Shuri recorded.

 

Steve rubbed his hands together before yelling, “WHAT ARE THOSE!”

 

Peter answered in a mock grandmother voice, “These are my crocs”

 

Shuri jokingly yelled that’s a wrap and stopped the recording before carrying her chip with her to edit the video. 

 

The next day it was up on YouTube, and let’s just say, Steve got  _ a lot of praise and recognition  _ for that. When they say that, they mean he was a damn meme again on Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram and Snapchat. 

 

**4 ~ He’s not allowed social media.**

 

He is a tease and he’s probably aware.

 

Obviously he was Thor’s, but they still legally had the right to thirst hard as f u c k on him. Like, that ass looks scrumptious!

 

Those tits ( _ they’re _ pecs Tony!) bounce up and down every time he jumps and they all stare mesmerizingly at it.

 

Those thick as mcfuck thighs he had could strangle a Hydra Agent alone unfortunately for Steve, leaving the nickname, “American Thighs” in its wake.

 

So when he got an Instagram, the world  _ raved.  _ He posted photos of art pieces he made, the team and his ass and thighs. Even wears his swimsuits for laughs, though all it earns is horny groans.

 

He then got a Snapchat and Twitter but he was really active on them, he had surpassed Justin Bieber with 204 million followers on Insta.

 

He had even smiled, grinned and acted adorably when he hit 200 million, they even held a party for him.

 

**5 ~ He’s not allowed to have kids (They’re more lenient about this one)**

 

At the centre they have made, sits Peter, the toddler that they have to take care of for the week since they have to find the kids parents dead bodies.

 

Since the shield agents have no idea how to take care of a baby, Fury thrusted the problem onto them, leading them to this very moment.

 

Now, they were deciding who would mainly take care of him. 

 

“Tony”

 

“He would carry the baby to the lab and he would die of chemical poisoning” Tony at least had the decency to look embarrassed. 

 

“Natasha”

 

“She would scare the baby” Coulson said.

 

“Thor?”

 

“No offence Thor, but at the moment we don’t want an accidentally squished baby” Phil said apologetically to Thor who looked at him and nodded in understanding.

 

“Clint?”

 

They stayed silent for that one much to the dismay of Clint who squawks indignantly. Phil rubs his back sympathetically.

 

“Okay..Bruce?” 

 

“He..may get mad when Peter does obey him” they chose not to pursue that one, instead thinking of someone else.

 

“What about Steve?”

 

They looked for a reason Steve couldn’t take care of Peter, but all minds up blank. If anything he would be the perfect candidate.

 

“So, we agreed on Steve right?” And they all bummed and nodded. Just then the elevator doors open, to find Steve with shopping bags in his hands, ironically looking like a mother already.

 

He didn’t see them on his course to the kitchen, lifting and setting the groceries on the counter and putting them away. He startled when they popped up behind him on the opposite side of the counter.

 

“HOLY MACARONI!” He censored himself, even though there was no need. Peter was in the living room with Coulson.

 

They all had hopeful looks on their faces, prompting Steve to ask what’s up.

 

“So...Furykindagaveusababytotakecarwofandwevotedyoutotakecareofhim!” Tony said quickly words jumble to the point were Steve couldn’t decipher anything.

 

He put the butter in the fridge, “What?” 

 

Natasha slapped a hand over Tony’s mouth as he went to speak again, then spoke slowly. “Fury gave us a kid to take care of and we voted you to take care of him.” And for some reason Steve’s face brightened.

 

“Oh! Where are they?” Steve ran out the kitchen and to the living room when they told him, stopping and ‘awing’ at true little baby on Phil’s lap. 

 

He walked over and Phil handed the little boy to him. “His name is Peter, Peter Parker” 

 

Steve used his finger to touch his little nose, smiling when Peter cooed and reached a little baby hand up to grab his finger. 

 

He just took Peter without a word of explanation.

 

~~~

 

Tony caught him in the living room at 2am cuddling with baby Peter in his arms, they were both lying on the couch, Peter subconsciously holding Steve’s finger and sucking on his pacifier.

 

~~~

 

Thor and Steve were lying down on the bed, Steve leaning on Thor’s chest while Thor leant against the headboard, sleeping peacefully. Steve was playing with Peter who giggled and showed toothless gums giddily. 

 

He laughed and spittle dropped down his chin, being wiped with Steve’s little cloth for him. “He slapped Steve’s cheeks. 

 

Thor had woken up momentarily and saw their interaction, hoping they could have kids of their own one day so he could see more of this extra domestic Steve.

 

~~~

 

Next was Clint, who walked into the living room and saw Peter who crawling really fast. He climbed up the sofa with ease for a baby missing most of his teeth. 

 

Two of them had grown in so far, just the front top row and he looked adorable. 

 

“Little spider, come here” Steve had given Peter the nickname little spider since he keeps crawling into everything. The bed, pillows, chairs, sometimes even tables and hung upside down which Steve freaked out over.

 

~~~

Natasha watched peacefully as Peter rolled on his stomach, Steve and him playing with legos. Peter grabbed his face into his little hands, pressing a wet kiss to Steve’s cheek in an imitation of what Thor does.

 

“Aw thank you Petey” Steve smiles and kisses the baby on his forehead, grinning at the giggle it got him.

 

“Steeb” Steve froze and stared shocked at Peter who laughed and spittled. He asked him to repeat it. “Steeb, Steeb, Steeb!” He clapped adorably. Natasha herself was shocked too, quickly asking Jarvis if he recorded it with audio and smirked.

 

It was a good choice, Steve was the perfect dad. 

  
  


**Surprise** ! 5. Part 2 to part 1

 

Fury walked into the tower looking for the captain who has yet to fill out the report, and found him cooking while Peter watched him cook. 

 

Steve let Peter taste the boneless piece of fish, watching as Peter chewed as swallowed. Peter smiles “more! More more!”

 

Steve got a small plate with more boneless pieces of stewed fish, Peter using his hand to eat it.

 

Fury decided to leave, letting the Captain go for not filling out the report and smiling for the first time in 34 years.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
